Month: June 2023
Week 10: Personal Project
This project has helped me learn more and more about not only game design but properly making use of prebuilt assets, with rigging, texturing and guiding user experience. I have also published the game on itch.io.
https://crosstar.itch.io/monster
My show reel for this will have been uploaded in my show reels tab.
The people who have played it so far enjoy it a lot and I hope that that continues with any others who decide to play it.
Week 11: Group Project
With this week the project comes to a conclusion. It has been a difficult but also amazing experience to work on this project and see it all come to life in the end. As I had some additional time in comparison to the other members of my group I spend a day adding sound effects to our scene to further highlight the fantastic work all my teammates have put in to creating this project.
I used a combination of sound effects from online and from ones that I recorded after renting sound equipment from the school. The final version of our work can be found in my show reels tab.
Week 9: Thesis Development
Developing the literature review has been difficult mainly due to the fact that it is incredibly long and I very rapidly approached the word count of the thesis proposal and I have yet to write the draft chapter. I spoke with Nigel however and he suggested that I keep the literature review long as it is the part of the thesis I have the least experience with and would require the most input on. As such I will likely make the draft chapter only a paragraph or so long. Here is my literature review and bibliography:
Approaching this ‘false’ nostalgia is difficult, it as a feeling that while can be described has yet to receive a collectively accepted term to describe it yet. In addition to this applying this feeling to approach a media form that has yet to be agree upon if it should count as an art form or not has brought this paper into difficult territory. First to discuss the literature that raises the various arguments for and against video games as an art form.
Bourgonjon, Vandermeersche Rutten and Quinten in Perspectives on Video Games as Art discuss the arguments around video games as an art form. Bringing in a large collection of other works made by artists, critics and opinions of common peoples like gamers. Collecting an impressive mass of diverse opinions. While a great resources on the arguments for and against the paper ultimately takes no stance on either side of the argument and as result contributes greatly in knowledge but little in the way of persuasion on either side which this paper would require a focus on arguments for rather than against as this paper takes the stance that video games are an art form. In counter to this Smuts Are Video Games Art? offers a shallower range of arguments in contrast but actively participates in the debate on the side of video games as an art form and challenges the arguments presented against it. While this is useful for this paper with it being designed inherently for video games as an art form it is a paper that must be carefully tempered against using arguments that were not addressed as to keep this paper balanced.
Another important framework for this paper is this idea of ‘false nostalgia’. While this paper has opted to use the word Anemoia this feeling has also been described with the phrases Sehnsucht and Nostalgia. Anemoia is most easily defined in Nostalgia doesn’t need real memories – an imagined past works as well, a shortened version of an essay previously published in The Moral Psychology of Sadness, outlines Anemoia and discusses this type of nostalgia closely. Unfortunately as a shortened version of an original article that access to has not been found it does not go into as much depth as it could and thus limits its application to this paper’s later points on why this feeling may be present and lacks the specificity of application to an artistic medium delivering it. Sehnsucht is addressed in detail in Kehl’s Writing the Long Desire: The Function of Sehnsucht in the Great Gatsby and Look Homeward, Angel. This article helps to cover the reasons why this feeling of Anemoia, here referred to as Sehnsucht, is present culturally. While this article helps to further ground and define this amorphous feeling it specifically addresses it in the context of literature and not video games thusly applying its conclusions to this paper’s analysis is something that must be handled carefully as the analytical frameworks would not necessarily apply. Howard’s Nostalgia is a useful resource as it delves deeply into nostalgia and specifices a distinction between nostalgia for an experience one has had and one that one hasn’t experienced. This is useful as these two nostalgia are sometimes conflated and frameworks for nostalgia Howard explains can be used to support this paper’s own arguments later on however Howard while making this distinction does clarify that the nostalgia his paper develops frameworks for is not the kind that includes Anemoia and as such limits the applicability of his frameworks.
But how do these video games function as vehicles? Garda notes in Nostalgia in Retro Game Design that games can function as vehicles for nostalgia by recreating a perceived mythological essence of an era. As a specific example Hotline Miami and it’s ‘1980’s-ness’. Garda provides a through framework of nostalgia being carried by video games inclusive of anemoia under the guise of ‘reflective’ nostalgia. Though an issue is that this reflective nostalgia ‘does not demand personal memories’ (Garda, 4) which will includes anemoia is not exclusive to anemoia as one can have personal memories in this frame work. Craving Analogue Sensation in A Digital World: Exploring The Collecting Behaviour of Digital Native Vinyl Collectors aids in covering this gap as Dingelhoff speaks directly of Anemoia and how the medium of vinyl functions as a vehicle for this feeling, whether intentional or not on part of the musicians, though again something to be weary of is that this covers vinyl discs and not video games.
Lastly why this feeling may be present is covered by both Makai and Suominen in Video games as Objects and Vehicles of Nostalgia and The Past as the Future? Nostalgia and Retrogaming in Digital Culture respectively. Each dealing, in part, with why both creators and players may engage with ‘retrogaming’ culture. Though neither deal specifically with anemoia they do serve to highlight how the reception of nostalgia can be independent from both creator and player, that while a creator may intend for their product to carry a nostalgic feeling this may not come across to the player and that a player may infer nostalgia or anemoia from a product that originally had no intention.
Bibliography
Aeon. (n.d.). Nostalgia doesn’t need real memories – an imagined past works as well – Felipe De Brigard | Aeon Essays. [online] Available at: https://aeon.co/essays/nostalgia-doesnt-need-real-memories-an-imagined-past-works-as-well.
Bourgonjon, J., Vandermeersche, G., Rutten, K. and Quinten, N. (2017) ‘Perspectives on Video Games as Art.’, CLCWEb: Comparative Literature and Culture, 19.4. Available at: https://doi.org/10.7771/1481-4374.3024
Dingelhoff, D.(2022). ‘Craving Analogue Sensation in A Digital World: Exploring The Collecting Behaviour of Digital Native Vinyl Collectors.’ Available at: https://theses.ubn.ru.nl/handle/123456789/14120 (Accessed: 01 May 2023)
Garda, M.B. (2013) ‘Nostalgia in Retro Game Design.’ In DiGRA Conference. Available at: https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=3fb3134a29cdcf28a05cf5e6bd120ab5da295a7e (Accessed: 25 April 2023)
Howard, S. A. (2012). Nostalgia. Analysis, 72(4), 641–650. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23359115
Kehl, D. G. (2000). ‘Writing the Long Desire: The Function of Sehnsucht in the Great Gatsby and Look Homeward, Angel.’ Journal of Modern Literature, 24(2), 309–319. http://www.jstor.org/stable/3831913
Makai, P. (2018). ‘Video Games as Objects and Vehicles of Nostalgia.’ Humanities, 7 (4), 123. Available at: http://dx.doi.org/10.3390/h7040123.
Smuts, A. (2005) ‘Are Video Games Art?’ Contemporary Aesthetics (Journal Archive), 3(1), 6.
Suominen, J. (2008). ‘The Past as the Future? Nostalgia and Retrogaming in Digital Culture.’ In The 7th International Digital Arts and Cultures Conference. Available at: https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=9594059f378fd5c427eb151933429ec9509c8efa (Accessed: 01 May 2023)
Week 9: Personal Project
This week was spent implementing more of the narrative elements of my game and a shader to help evoke that ‘older’ game aesthetic I am trying to use. I got the code of the shader from https://godotshaders.com/shader/vhs-and-crt-monitor-effect/. As shaders are something I have interest in in future I’d like to research to build my own but currently I do not have the time.
For the narrative elements I made four different ‘title card’ style images that would be shown to the player before starting the game, when they quit the game, when they defeat the creature and when the creature defeats them.




I also worked on adding sound to the game which was mostly comprised off copyright free swishes and nature sounds that I retrieved off of Youtube and edited them in Premiere Pro. I still need to implement a player injured noise and a creature injured noise to help with feedback to the player. I also had some classmates play the game and from that worked on some AI pathfinding bugs that they discovered and exploited.
Week 10: Group Project
As I have concluded with my aspect of the project, namely as a look dev creating and texturing models, I have offered myself as an assistant to anyone in the group in need of help. Daniel than asked me to retexture another member’s model, a couch, as that person was too busy and Daniel felt that the couch’s current texture clashed too much with the current design aesthetic of the scene.


And that was what I spent my time on this week in regards to the group project. While not as much as the previous weeks things are winding down and focusing on the final renders so new models are not needed. I will continue to offer my assistance to anyone in our group who feels that they need it.
Week 9: Group Project
After the strides of the last week this one was more relaxed but still plenty of work was done to progress my parts of the group project forward.
In regards to new creations I was able to complete the texture for my sculpture model after the topology was finished last week and was approved.
As mentioned last week I spoke with Daniel and he informed me of the texture issue that he would be facing because of how I had set up my model’s textures. This week I was able to go back to the model and reorganize the textures and standard surfaces and as a result was able to reduce the textures from 18 separate textures down to 5. A much more manageable amount that should make Daniel’s life as the CG Lead a lot easier.


Week 8: Personal Project
As I had gotten a lot done for the group project last week this week I was capable of spending a majority of my time on my personal project and have made significant progress! This week I have managed to:
- Texture my weapon and my creature
- Add a sleeping and wake up animation to the creature
- Add hit flash so there is visual feedback on striking it
- When the creature attacks it stops moving to give player’s time to reposition
- Used assets to make the arena more visually appear like a forest
- Re-adjust lighting to make a more evocative atmosphere
Overall the progress this week in my personal project has made me very happy and given me hope that I will be able to add some of the original narrative I had planned to the game that I had thought I would no longer have the time to implement it!
The most difficult part of this week was the creature animations as I am still getting used to understanding the tools at my disposal in Godot and on occasion ended up causing issues for myself by overwriting reset points which messed up all my previously made animations. I was able to quickly identify and solve the issue!
Week 8: Thesis Development
Due to the work for the group project as described in Week 8 I had skipped out on working on my thesis proposal for week 7 and as a result it has skipped to week 8. For this week I have spent it preparing an initial draft of my thesis proposal. It is not yet complete but this is what I have thus far:
Title: Video games as a vehicle for Anemoia: False Nostalgia and the longing for a constructured past
Introduciton:
Nostalgia has been a topic of discussion and research for a long time. As scholars and people we are constantly looking back into the past to inform our present and as such Nostalgia is something everyone will experience eventually as they look to their own perceived pasts and see how things were. However Nostalgia has become a more poignant topic today as cuturally and politicaly it is engaged with more and more. It can be seen that people are seeking the past today not to understand, learn or build from it but instead to return to it. For some the nostaligia that is sought is traditional in nature, one where they seeker wishes to return to their experienced past, a point previous in their life. For others though in this cultural landscape of nostalgia they are affected with a longing for a past not experienced. They experience a longing for a constructed past constructed not by their own experience but by the experiences of others conveyed to them through a variety of media. This kind of nostalgia is sometimes refered to as ‘sehnsucht’, ‘anemoia’, which is how from now this paper will refer to that kind of nostalgia as, and the purpose of this paper is to research Anemoia and see how and if video games function as a vehicle for it and why anemoia is a necessary field of study to address.
Key Words
Anemoia, Nostalgia, Sehnsucht, Video Games , Retroculture
Research Design methods:
This paper’s methodology will predominantly be a qualitative research focus. As the paper deals with something more abstract in nature, namely a person’s perceptions of the past and subjective feelings towards that past, a qualitative approach would make the most sense. As such this paper will focus research conducted by others scholars into several fields. Research into anemoia as that is the focus of the paper. Research into nostalgia as an experience as that will help difference it from anemoia and provide larger social context. Research into retroculture with a focus on retrogaming and specifically about how people interact with retroculture. This is important as it is specifically about cultural engagement with the past but the motivation for engagement is different for different people and provides bed for counter arugments to my topic.
If possible and with enough forsight to develop this survey ahead of time, there would be room for quantitative data to be introduced. As stated anemoia is a topic that has not received as much attention as nostalgia proper and as a result it would be prudent to introduce a survey simply to cover that this feeling is being experienced by others and specifically, I would aim to target ‘gamers’ with it. I believe that the survey should ask for the individuals age, whether they have experienced anemoia after explaining it and what games or media at large has caused this feeling to manifest. Age is relevant as one might expect younger generations to feel anemoia specifically as they have overall less experiences to draw on and that older generations who are more likely to be the ones creating these works will instil that feeling in younger generations.
General Outline for each chapter:
- Literature Review – Simple, this will be a literature review where I go over the resouces I plan on using with my paper and critically engage with them
- Intro – I will introduce my paper’s topic and why I believe that it is it a topic worth addressing. I will also set out my paper’s structure here
- Justify Games as art – As games as an art form is still a topic of debate today it was felt by my instructor that it would be pertinent to address that topic. This chapter is dedicated to addressing the arguments for and against art though ultimately I will side with arguments for as I am enaging with games as an art form.
- Arguments For
- Arguments Against
- Define Anemoia – It is important that a clear understanding of what anemoia is and how it relates to nostalgia is in place as the entire paper is about this topic. Since it isn’t a common term or one with much coloquial agreement it is important that I define it properly.
- What is it?
- Why relate it to nostalgia?
- How is Anemoia carried in Video Games? (Vehicle) – The second part of my topic. This chapter will be dedicated to how video games can function as a vehicle for anemoia and how they acheieve this.
- Player’s Perspective
- Developer’s Perspective
- Why is Anemoia Present? – Now that anemoia has been defined and video games aruged as a vehicle for them this part dives into why this might be present. Why players may experience it and why game creators may, intentionally or not, put this into their games.
- What does this interest in it mean? – Here is where I explore the sociological reasons that this feeling is present and what the instreast in it could mean for our perecptions of the current political and cultural climate of the world.
- Conclusion – I draw my conclusions and address counter arguments and gaps in my study.
Week 8: Group Project
This week the group project, due to further complications, has taken over my complete focus. With it my thesis proposal and personal project have taken a backseat for this week so that I can maintain pace with the further developing demands of the group project. Namely for us as look devs we were informed that we must now have a minimum of three models when originally it was two to three models. Since our look dev team is so large Daniel and I have had to find a few additional models for members of the look dev that have only made two thus far. It was also mandated to us that our second models must be fully textured by this Thursday and the third model started.
In addition to the TV/Radio capsule device and the cactus I have been requested to make a sculpture using this image as reference.

As an update on the state of the older models I have updated the textures of the cactus pot and stand to better match materials to the color scheme and materials of the scene, replacing it mostly with plastic colored according to our color palette.
I have also fully crafted the textures for the TV/Radio capsule and applied them to my model.
While I am proud of the textures themselves I have found out that when importing the object into the scene it would require the CG Generalist to re-apply all the textures. For most of my models this isn’t an issue but for the capsule I, while trying to now create a more visually complex model, severely overestimated the amount of materials I would need.

As a result of this overestimation my model has 18 standard surfaces and with proper planning and time I should be able to drop that to 10 or so. This is a growing pain of my attempts to create more complex textures on more complex inorganic objects.
I have also modeled and organized the UVs of my third model as it is quite simple as a shape for 3D modelling. My time with UVing this project has helped me significantly improve my understanding of how UVs function and how to properly use them and organize them.

